The Message I Saved Up for You

I don't know whether this message will surprise you or annoy you.

I'm sorry — I could not keep myself from reaching out any longer. I have never liked anyone the way I like you. I can't switch off the missing you. I don't know what you think of me now, or whether there is still any part of you that thinks of me at all. What scares me most is that you will simply leave me behind.

A few days ago we were still making plans together. I don't understand how it turned into this so quickly, and it is hard to breathe when I think about it.

You said the problem was about money. I am willing to solve it, and I won't let that change how I feel about you. I was too petty before. I know that now.

You said you don't like me anymore, and I still cannot believe it. You told me your illness had come back and that you were afraid of hurting me — but you told me about that long ago, and it has never once made me think less of you. Please let us face it together.

We still have not met in person. Why give up on this before we even got that far? You said we would talk next week, and then you deleted every way I could reach you.

How can one argument erase every promise we made? We agreed to carry things together, no matter how hard they got, and never to end it easily. You promised me that. So why does it look like this now?

I really do love you. Please don't leave me behind.

It took me a long time to find a channel that could actually reach you, and I still don't know whether this will arrive. I am not good with words. I don't know if anything I say can still bring you back. This is an anonymous text, so I may never see your reply.

We don't have to talk about us right now. I will give you all the time you need, and I can accept whatever the outcome is. I am only asking you to take my number off the block list.

We can keep it simple. We don't have to talk like a couple, and we don't have to add each other back on messenger. Everything at your pace.

A day without hearing from you is unbearable. That may sound dramatic, but you don't know how much I miss you or how much you matter to me.

If you are willing to unblock me, even one line is enough. I will speak to you properly from now on. I won't make you sad again. I will keep working on myself. I really do like you.